David Brooks Tells You How to Use Marijuana

With marijuana legalized in Colorado a few days ago, David Brooks felt the need to weigh in on the proper way to use it, or not to, or something. If you're unfamiliar with his work, Brooks is the New York Times' lone conservative(ish) columnist. He used to be tolerable, then he went on leave to write a book this year and came back sounding more like a conservative Thomas Friedman.

Before I dive into Brooks' utter mess of a column, I should weigh in myself. First of all, I am in the minority of Americans[1] who have never tried pot. Personally, I don't see the point. I like reality as it is, and I don't see the need to alter my perception of it. I also don't drink alcohol for the same reason. I currently live in a state and country where marijuana possession is a crime and hold a job where marijuana use is grounds to fire me. I guess you could say I don't gain much from legalization of marijuana. I don't use it; I don't want to use it.

Even though I don't personally use pot, I've known a lot of people who have used it, in various quantities and with various frequency. I've known some high-functioning potheads, and I've known potheads who threw their lives away. I've known people who were using it more than they should have been, and I've known people who were arrested for possession. From what I've seen, it's no worse than alcohol. Like alcohol, you can abuse it, but casual use doesn't necessarily constitute abuse. Unlike alcohol, the lethal dose is so far away from the effective dose that it's essentially impossible to overdose on it.

I think there are better and worse ways to use marijuana. If you live somewhere it's illegal, you probably shouldn't use it, but if you do, you shouldn't use it in high risk ways. Don't get high in a school zone; don't carry it (or paraphernalia) around unnecessarily in your car or your purse. Like smoking tobacco, I think there's some etiquette to smoking weed. It's rude to subject others to your second-hand smoke, so find somewhere out of the way or private. Like alcohol, marijuana is an intoxicant. Don't get high and operate heavy machinery. Don't get high before school or work. You know, use some common sense. If you get high in your basement on Friday night and eat a bunch of Cheetos, I don't think you're hurting anyone. If you get high at a party and spend the night being lovably goofy, that's fine (as long as you aren't forcing it on anyone else).

The tl;dr here is that I don't use marijuana, but I support its legalization and I'm ok with people who use it responsibly, politely, and safely. I also don't think it's worth it to break the law to use it.

Brooks essentially takes the polar opposite view. He and his high school friends used pot, and did it pretty stupidly by some indications (Brooks admits to getting high at lunch and stumbling through a presentation in English class). One of his friends turned into a full-time pothead, and the rest grew out of it. Brooks sees nothing wrong with his or his friends' casual use, despite the fact that it was illegal and (in Brooks' own case) detrimental to their school performance. I disagree with him, but so far he's in line with a good chunk of America. Most of his friends went on to live productive lives, and he went on to become a successful author and columnist.

Brooks also seems to think that his and his friends' use was more acceptable because they were young. In other words, the proper way to smoke weed is to use it in high school, then grow up and stop. Never mind that this goes against the (admittedly limited) research that suggests it may be more dangerous for developing minds. Never mind that this goes against the prevailing wisdom on drugs in general, which is that they shouldn't be available to minors. Never mind that most high school students can't responsibly use video games, never mind drugs. The correct way to smoke pot is during high school. So says David Brooks. Adult users are degenerates or delinquents or immature and they should grow up.

But wait. It's about to get weird.

David Brooks, the former pot user, goes on to argue that pot use should be discouraged. Ok, I'm still with him here. I don't have a problem with using marijuana, but like so many things, it's dangerous in excess. I don't mean that you can overdose from it, but that it's hard to do something meaningful with yourself if you're always getting high. It's expensive, it's distracting, and in our current legal and cultural climate, it can make you unemployable or get you arrested. So marijuana use isn't something we should be encouraging.  We also shouldn't be encouraging alcohol use, tobacco use, or cursing. It would seem to me that the logical conclusion from there is to legalize it and educate people on the dangers of abusing it. I'm a paternalistic, liberal, big-government socialist, so if I'm not in favor of banning something, I imagine nobody is. Enter David Brooks, the conservative columnist.

Brooks argues that because marijuana use should be discouraged, marijuana should be illegal. He does this in the same column that he says that he doesn't "have any problem with somebody who gets high from time to time." Here's the problem: if he thinks marijuana should be illegal, he thinks he and his high school friends, as well as everyone else who uses weed, deserves to be arrested. That's how laws work. That's how the social contract works. If something is illegal, then everyone who does it is a criminal. David Brooks is no less a criminal because he wasn't caught. The only way for marijuana users not to be criminals is for marijuana to be legal. In a country where more than half of us are guilty of marijuana use, it's just hypocritical to go on like this. Either we all need to stop doing pot and commit to condemning it, or we need to legalize it.